Ho trovato queste due storielle sulla pagina FB degli sloveni in iSwizzera. Morale: sono ancora sloveno, non sono ancora zurighese (solo un pochino...).
You know you're Slovenian when...
* schnapps cures everything from a stomachache to paper cuts
* when your 91 year grandmother is still pouring shots of schnapps when you visit her
* you are well acquainted with rolled leaf of sour cabbage stuffed with rice and minced meat (sarma)
* you eat everything with “ajvar”
* in every Slovenian home you will find "vegeta"
* having soup with every meal, even though its 50 degrees outside
* you tell your parents: "I just go out for a drink don't worry". That happens on Friday... you then come back home on Monday...
* your profanity consists of Croatian and Serbian phrases because Slovenija is too pure to have swear words
* there is nothing gross about blood sausages
* drinking with your parents is normal
* you have to wear slippers around the house, even if you have carpeting and it is 45 degrees outside
* your family makes their own wine, schnapps or honey schnapps (medica)
* mother is always making you eat
* you know how to dance polka and you’re proud of it
* someone in your family can play accordion
* you love Cockta
* at the age of 13 you are only allowed to go out of town with your friends for folklore festivals, drinking binges, and dances
* your parents were at the party where you first got drunk and maybe even offered you a drink
* then they waited until the ride home to beat the crap out of you for getting drunk and embarassing them
* the majority of your friends are also your relatives
* ladle are not only used for stirring when cooking... they are also used by mother to beat you when there is no rod handy...
* at least once you've told your parents that you'll call the police to report "child abuse" and your parents said: "Ja! Samo probaj..."
* lunch on Sundays has more courses than Americans have for Christmas or Thanksgiving dinner
* your 13 year old sister can out-drink any American or Irishman
* you love goulash
* vegetarianism is not a concept your parents understand
* all other action stops when you hear people speaking Croatian or Serbian somewhere
* you smell garlic or alcohol on the old man's breath behind you sitting on the pew in church on Sunday mornings
* you never got the "Birds and the Bees" talk from parents when growing up
* your relatives alone can populate a small city
* you've worked in the stable at your relatives house in Slovenia and the cow smell didn’t even bother you
* when your 91 year grandmother is still pouring shots of schnapps when you visit her
* you are well acquainted with rolled leaf of sour cabbage stuffed with rice and minced meat (sarma)
* you eat everything with “ajvar”
* in every Slovenian home you will find "vegeta"
* having soup with every meal, even though its 50 degrees outside
* you tell your parents: "I just go out for a drink don't worry". That happens on Friday... you then come back home on Monday...
* your profanity consists of Croatian and Serbian phrases because Slovenija is too pure to have swear words
* there is nothing gross about blood sausages
* drinking with your parents is normal
* you have to wear slippers around the house, even if you have carpeting and it is 45 degrees outside
* your family makes their own wine, schnapps or honey schnapps (medica)
* mother is always making you eat
* you know how to dance polka and you’re proud of it
* someone in your family can play accordion
* you love Cockta
* at the age of 13 you are only allowed to go out of town with your friends for folklore festivals, drinking binges, and dances
* your parents were at the party where you first got drunk and maybe even offered you a drink
* then they waited until the ride home to beat the crap out of you for getting drunk and embarassing them
* the majority of your friends are also your relatives
* ladle are not only used for stirring when cooking... they are also used by mother to beat you when there is no rod handy...
* at least once you've told your parents that you'll call the police to report "child abuse" and your parents said: "Ja! Samo probaj..."
* lunch on Sundays has more courses than Americans have for Christmas or Thanksgiving dinner
* your 13 year old sister can out-drink any American or Irishman
* you love goulash
* vegetarianism is not a concept your parents understand
* all other action stops when you hear people speaking Croatian or Serbian somewhere
* you smell garlic or alcohol on the old man's breath behind you sitting on the pew in church on Sunday mornings
* you never got the "Birds and the Bees" talk from parents when growing up
* your relatives alone can populate a small city
* you've worked in the stable at your relatives house in Slovenia and the cow smell didn’t even bother you
You know you're from Zürich when:
* you start thinking that it's normal at the movie theaters to have numbered seats and having a break in middle of the action
* you couldn't imagine to be no longer listed as the city with the highest quality of life - worldwide
* you think it's normal when 6 hours after the streetparade everything looks clean and shiny as if nothing happened
* you think your city is the best thing that ever happen to Switzerland
* people's dicussions about the lighting concept of the Bahnhofstrasse for x-mas is more important than terrorism/wars/etc...
* you get pissed when you have to either wait more than 5 minutes for a Tram/Bus or you have to walk more than 5 minutes to the next stop near you
* you know what and where the HB is
* you meet everybody at the Bellevue
* you know who the "böög" is
* Basel is for you just a place where they produce pharmaceuticals
* Aargau is for you just a place where you drive through on the way to Bern and where the electricity comes from
* mis-matched multi-patterned versace outfits seem cool
* when most of your friends work in a Bank
* you find yourself each sunday morning at 4am at New Point ordering "ein kebab"
* your daily meal has to contain "Bratwurst"
* you know where and what the Lindenhof is
* you have a fixed shopping route at Bahnhofstrasse
* you are able to understand the announcements in the Bus/Tram
* you've memorized the train tram and bus schedules, know which ones go where and which zones they pass through
* someone asks you where the Münsterbrücke is and you answer: "Ah you mean the Gemüsebrücke?"
* you have no problem paying 8 CHF for a Sandwich
* you think it is normal to search for an apartment, more than 3 months
* you know which bus line is called "The Orient Express" and which train is named "Frieda"
* you know where the Langstrasse is and what it's known for
* the old lady in the wheel-chair at the HB already knows you by name
* you know that "knabeschüüssä" is absolutely non-violent
* you can tell which Luxemburgerli has which flavour just by looking at its colour
* running to catch your tram becomes your morning exercise
* you find everything cheaper in other cities
* you find it normal when the restaurants are full at 6 o'clock
* when at least one of your friends is a millionaire
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